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Going through a pretty rough time right now...

So, my older sister and bestest friend, Missy has kidney cancer and it isn't getting any better. She was rushed to the hospital in April and now she's in it again because she's very, very ill. And it doesn't make it any better that she lives in North Carolina and I'm in New York. But luckily, my brother, Jay is with her in the hospital. I'm also working very hard on my house because it needs to be cleaned big time.

So I'm working my butt off on my house, cleaning it from top to bottom. Also, I've been feeling very down lately. Even before I got the phone call about my sister. I've been taking my regular dose of medicine but it seems not to be helping at all. I'm very depressed right now and it isn't much fun to fake smiles and laughs to neighbors and people in the grocery store. It's very hard to be so depressed and then have your brother call you to tell you your closest sister is in the hospital again.

I'm afraid for her life. I don't know what I'd do if I lost her. She's been there for me when I was suicidal, severly depressed and everything in between.

And with all that going on, finances are not so good either.I barely have food in my house and only have enough to squeeze by through bills and a couple cans of spaghettios. I mean, I get paid every two weeks. And I work a full time job but I just don't think I'm getting enough for as much work as I put in to that office.

I'm just to my breaking point and I want it all to stop. Nothing can ever be simple and relaxing. And if it is, it only lasts for fie minutes.

Well, thank you for reading this depressing blog. Please comment something that'll make me feel better.
Do me a favor and keep Missy in your prayers or whatever you do to keep her alive and getting better by minute. Thank you for your concern. I appreciate it very much.

With lots of love,
Jai

Tags: cancer, death, depression, hospital, jai, medicine, sad

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